Trust and a lot of Hard Work

I knew transferring Rhia’s services would be hard, but I had no idea just how close to impossible it would be. The net that was supposed to catch us after we jumped toward a better life is ripped, worn out, and stretched to the point of disintegrating.

San Mateo County services are excellent, but getting to them is another battle.

I haven’t had time to write. My days are filled with work, caregiving, unpacking, and school work. I get Rhia ready for her day, then work a full-time job, rush home to take care of Rhia again and try to get homework done. I’m failing braille simply because I don’t have enough time or mental focus to memorize all those little dots. But if I fail, I’ll get kicked out of school, which means I’ll lose my job, which means I lose our home, which means we can’t be in San Mateo County…

Stop! Don’t go there. Take it a day at a time… no, make that an hour at a time. And trust.

Trust what? Who? Myself? I actually thought I could move to the most expensive county in California and it would all just magically work out. I’m an idiot.

However… every cell in my bones tells me I’ve made the right decision. Rhia is happy here; she now lives in “San Francisco” where she is closer to her doctors and the weather is better. No more long drives. No more 100 degree days. For her, I’ll keep fighting.

The Regional Center is finally helping her access a day program. There are two good possibilities with great opportunities for Rhia. While we wait, I’ve hired a caregiver to help while I’m at work. Finding her was pure luck and I’m extremely grateful, but I hope the Regional Center hurries up because I’m running out of cash to pay for a caregiver.

…if I can’t pay the caregiver then I can’t work and if I can’t work I lose my job and then I lose our home and then we’ll have to leave San Mateo County…

Stop thinking like that! Deep breath… there’s nothing to do but keep going forward. Trust.

Trust that I made the right decision. Trust that this is the best place for both me and Rhia. Trust that people are kind and there is help out there. Trust that I am smart enough to pass braille. Trust that I have enough money saved to get us through this transition time. Trust that I am not really alone, even if I am a single mom again.

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